Your Cat Was Made Wrong
And yet, he still does cat-like things; playing with his string for example.
The vet remembered me from last year. He remembered the woeful tale of Cat Keeper J.
I had gathered some fun shapes in a plastic baggie so maybe he could run some tests. But he simply said, "I don't need to run tests. Your cat is psychotic."
FINALLY. A vet I can rely on.
"Your cat was made wrong."
If I didn't have a boyfriend, I would have grabbed this vet's face and passionately kiss him.
"I can't believe you still have him. You're a really kind person."
I have been redeemed.
Fat Luck redeemed himself too. All over the table. It was as if he understood English, but spoke only fun shapes because he aimed and open fired on the doctor, fun shapes bouncing about on the examining table....
Well, ok, they didn't bounce, but they definitely rolled around a bit... in the vet's direction.
I left the vet with a two month supply of Elavil, also known as Kitty Prozac. I tried this back in 2003, but all I got out of it was ... was... well nothing. Since my cat seems to be the shittiest cat ever made, the Vet told me I have to wait two months to see some sort of result.
I wonder what the result will be. Perhaps poopies in the shape of a smiley face? Heart-shaped piss patterns on his wee wee pads? Guess we'll have to see.
posted by Cat Keeper J at 9:40 PM
4 Comments:
He looks like he's about to hang himself in that picture!
Elavil is some nice shit, man.
Hey, have you heard about the new MFA in Acting and Stuff program at Pace University? It is the bomb diggity.
NASHVILLE - Forget turbulence. Flatulence was the problem that forced an American Airlines plane carrying 104 people to make an emergency landing in Nashville.
American Flight 1053, which left Washington Reagan National Airport en route to Dallas/Fort Worth, landed in Nashville on Monday after passengers reported smelling struck matches, a spokeswoman for the Nashville International Airport Authority told The Tennessean newspaper.
The plane landed safely, after which the 99 passengers and five crew members disembarked. Authorities began an exhaustive security check and specially trained dogs found used match sticks, The Tennessean said.
Finally, a passenger 'fessed up that she had a flatulence problem caused by a medical condition and had been lighting the matches to try to conceal the odor.
It's legal to carry as many as four books of paper safety matches onto an aircraft, but it is illegal to strike a match in an airplane. The woman wasn't charged, but American wouldn't let her back on the plane.
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